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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 15:33:38 GMT -5
Cocoa Puffs!
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 15:34:35 GMT -5
If George Washington was the father of the United States, who was the mother?
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 15:37:26 GMT -5
Only in America do they put Braille on Drive-Thru ATMs.
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 15:38:13 GMT -5
Only in America do they chain pens to desks and leave the doors to banks wide open.
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 15:41:41 GMT -5
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 15:43:45 GMT -5
Only in America can you...oh, look, a chicken!
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 15:44:47 GMT -5
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 15:49:57 GMT -5
Only in America do we buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 16:02:56 GMT -5
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Brb, Dad needs the comp.
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 16:04:43 GMT -5
Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'poli' meaning, in Latin, 'many', and 'tics' as in the tiny, bloodsucking creatures.
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 16:16:02 GMT -5
Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 16:18:44 GMT -5
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 16:21:30 GMT -5
Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
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Post by Cepheus the Pessimistic on Jan 21, 2007 18:28:21 GMT -5
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
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Post by Keahi the Sarcastic on Jan 21, 2007 20:17:44 GMT -5
Two Tough Questions
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with an astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C.
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, only drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first ... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
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